What I’m Worth

Oh Vanity, how you constantly make me crazy!

So I did something totally out of character for me.  After years (oh and I mean YEARS) of deliberation, I finally went in to the dermatologist and had the sunspots on my face removed!  And yes, I’m blaming you, baby oil, for helping me fry throughout the entire 1980’s.

So in the name of Vanity I allowed a man (one so young that if I were dating him, we could be a nightly news special report entitled something like When Young, Rich Men Date Middle Aged Women with Lots of Kids, Messy Houses, And Mini Vans) to take a burning laser to my face AFTER signing a release form that I think had 2,136 “possible, but not likely” negative outcomes.

And the irony of this is that these sunspots caused me enough grief that I went through this procedure, yet I still went to my son’s dodgeball game 3 hours after the surgery looking like I just stood bare-faced in the whipping wind on top of Mt. Rushmore.  And after hearing my 8 year old son say, “Mom, you’ve had a big day with your face surgery and all, so you don’t really need to come in.  I think I can do this one alone.”  I clearly don’t care what I look like in public.  So all I can say is “Vanity, you make me crazy.”

On the way home I’m listening to any and all Christmas songs that I can find (my obsession to Christmas music is a whole different blog) and I come across a recent remake of Oh Holy Night and I’m struck by these words:

Long lay the world, in sin and error pinning

Till He appeared, and the soul felt it’s worth

Wow.  You know what Vanity – you got NOTHIN’ on that!  Those words rock me. Why? Because I spent 25 years (only some covered in baby oil) before knowing Jesus and I was pinning for something – well, actually someONE, I just didn’t know who it was.  And when I met Jesus, my soul changed forever.  It feels complete and it longs for Him every moment of every day.

Do you know what my soul is worth?

His life.  That’s how valuable I am.

Yeah, I forget.  All the time.  I look in the mirror and see sunspots.  Then I run around crazy and in error, until they are gone.  I’m always forgetting my worth and trying to find it in other things.

Don’t worry – I’ll see sunspots again.  I’m a slow learner.

But at least now, deep down, my soul knows its worth.

One response to “What I’m Worth

  1. I seriously can NOT get enough of your blog! First off I must say that I can read EVER single word and see you saying them aloud. I can see your face, saying and reacting to your words. It is amazing! It’s like I am having a conversation (a totally and I mean not ever did our 16 year old selves think about any of this, kids, messy houses,Christmas music on the radio, that sunning ourselves wasn’t healthy etc.) with you. Only this time I really am listening (I did before honest!)

    “Yeah, I forget. All the time. I look in the mirror and see sunspots. Then I run around crazy and in error, until they are gone. I’m always forgetting my worth and trying to find it in other things.

    Don’t worry – I’ll see sunspots again. I’m a slow learner.

    But at least now, deep down, my soul knows its worth.”

    I too am a slow learner forgetting my self worth, only I think I may still be searching for something to make me feel complete like that.

    So thank you! I have read all your posts (great now I have something else to have to read daily, Cause it’s important to know spoilers for Once Upon a Time,.and to keep me away from cleaning my house..)

    I am so enchanted and can’t wait for tomorrow to read more I am taking great comfort like drinking hot choc.on a bitter cold nite. thawing me

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