How I Became a Mom Today

I know this will come as a shock to most people….but today I became a mom again.  This is our son: Isaac Kirkland Zabrocki



It is a story I can not even begin to believe has happened. It begins with the question I always get, “Are you guys going to adopt again?’

My answer “Well, I’ll never say no because to say no would mean my heart for orphans would need to change.  However I do not intend to ever, ever actually pursue an adoption.  No, our family is full.  If God wants me to have another child He will literally have to drop one off at the door.”

So on January 2nd, God laughed in my face and sent Kirkland (Isaac) to our front door.

He came through Safe Families, which is an organization we often take kids through.  It is intended to help moms in need for short periods of time while they get assistance that they need for a variety of things.  It is a beautiful way to help out woman who want to parent but just need a little help.  We’ve had multiple children over the past 5 years and I’ve been very confident that returning them to their parents was the best decision ever.

I will also say that in the past 5 years I have heard of 1 single adoption through safe families out of the hundreds of children that it helps.  It just does not happen.  In fact, I always tell people who want to adopt to NOT do safe families because they will struggle with giving the kids back and that is not the intent.

Within a week of Isaac being here, I remember Jon saying “I think he’s going to be ours.”  What?  NO.  That is not how this works and he’s not even up for adoption.  Then the kids began with “We want him to be our brother!”  Again, NO.

I worked with his mom, encouraging her to parent.  His mother is young, sweet, kind, and just loves her children.  There are 3 in all.  However she just got into school and has been overwhelmed with caring for them for a long time.  In February, all three went home and I felt good about it.  Yes I loved him, but that isn’t unusual.  I love a lot of kids we host.  But I’m even more overjoyed when they are reunited with their parents.

Within a week, the family member she was living with kicked her out and she ended up in a shelter.  It was difficult for her and school looked to be out of the question.  She decided to talk to an adoption agency and asked us to adopt her son since he had already created a bond with us.

My first response was yes, of course I would, but let’s explore all options.  I encouraged her to look at adoptive families willing to take all 3 kids together.  However, after evaluations of the children, the psychologists all suggested that to better serve their needs, the oldest two shouldn’t be adopted together.  And all this time, Isaac’s bio mom just kept saying, “I pick you.  It’s going to be you.”

I said next to nothing to anyone.  I just couldn’t believe this was happening.  Plus I didn’t want to get my hopes up because until she signed the official court papers, I had no legal rights to this little boy.  The months passed.  She continued counseling.  She visited with the kids.  She was afraid and unsure, so we just supported her and waited to see what she would decide.

Three weeks ago she set a court date and said she was ready.  My adoption agency helped us finish a home study in 3 weeks – an unbelievable task I assure you.  My daughter had surgery at that time and we did all our interviews on the 19th floor of Lurie’s Children’s Hospital in the lounge.  And somehow we managed a pile of paperwork all while helping our daughter recover.  It’s been a madhouse.

And then today she walked into court, and with a lot of sorrow, did the most amazing and sacrificial thing any mother can do.  She signed surrenders giving custody of her son to us, and custody of her two other children to a young couple she had chosen last month.

I literally sit here in shock.  I can not believe God placed a child at my door and no matter what I did, kept saying I have chosen you to do this.  It’s a beautiful thing.

We finalized the paperwork last Friday, 3 days ago, with our attorney and the was the moment she said “What do you want his name to be?”  He didn’t have a given middle name so we decided on Isaac.  After we sat on it a couple of days, we decided yesterday to actually change his name to Isaac.  It feels strange and right all at the same time.  He answers to both already, because, well, he’s 2 and just thinks everything is super funny.

The reason we chose Isaac because of it’s meaning in the Old Testament.  The story of Isaac begins in Genesis with his parents, Abraham and Sarah, who had always wanted for a child. When they were very old, the Lord came to Abraham and promised him a son.  Here was Sarah’s reaction:

Now Sarah was listening at the entrance to the tent, which was behind him. 11Abraham and Sarah were already very old, and Sarah was past the age of childbearing. 12So Sarah laughed to herself as she thought, “After I am worn out and my lord is old, will I now have this pleasure?”

13Then the Lord said to Abraham, “Why did Sarah laugh and say, ‘Will I really have a child, now that I am old?’ 14Is anything too hard for the Lord? I will return to you at the appointed time next year, and Sarah will have a son.”

When the baby was born they named him Isaac, which means laughter.  Laughter could not be a better name for this child.

Isaac makes us laugh all day long.  He is a riot.  I find so much humor in how God planted a child in my life that I didn’t even know I needed.  Walking down to drop him off in the church nursery makes me laugh!  What am I doing there again?  When my 16 year old is carrying him and I can tell some people think he is her child instead of mine – even that cracks me up!  Go ahead strangers and make that assumption.  I also thought I was too old to be a mother again.  I will be 61 when he graduates high school and I assure you we will laughing that day too.

Everything that has transpired just awes me and fills me with joy.  My husband and I have always said that if we didn’t laugh so much we would never be able to handle all that happens in our lives.  I guess God decided to give us just a little more laughter.

Now when people ask me if I’m going to adopt again, I guess I will stay mute.  I don’t want to give God the challenge of putting a 7th kid in my house in his own miraculous ways.  However He clearly knows what I need before I even can imagine it.  So perhaps I will just leave everything up to Him.